Wiimpressions

I finally got a chance to play with a Wii, and quite frankly, it's as awesome as I ever wanted it to be.

The game of the hour was Wii Sports, and it gave me a chance to show what an uncoordinated schmuck I am. We began by bowling, which was probably my best showing. The controls are simple and intuitive. It's pretty much like actual bowling, except I can't drop anything heavy on my toes. That counts for a lot.

The baseball and boxing games were more difficult for me, especially since as a short person the Wii interpreted all my actions as being pretty low. I got in a few gut punches on boxing but couldn't really guard my face well enough to be worth anything. Baseball was pretty much one foul after another.

Golf took some getting used to. It's imperative that the player try not to flick the Wiimote too hard, as the console interprets this as a much harder stroke than was meant by the player. Of course, the entire thing could be done sitting on a couch with a series of wrist flicks, but I agree with Tycho and Gabe on this one.

The most popular game of the evening, and my favorite, was probably tennis. The inability to control where your character actually is can be a bit distressing, especially in doubles, but the game is immensely satisfying. Your stroke is determined by the way you swing the Wiimote, and that means you don't have to think too much about hitting B then A in rapid succession as in other tennis games (Mario Tennis, I'm looking at you). It's all a matter of timing. The urge to run around the room is distracting, but that's all in the fun of it.

As a completely unbiased journalist, I have to say that the Nintendo Wii is the single greatest invention known to man, and I intend to sell a kidney for one around New Year's Day.